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2 Cor. 12:9 – "But He [Jesus]
said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the
more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may
rest on me."
I've noticed a series of stages in the life of homeschool
moms. The first, of course, is one of anxiety and fear as the dear
newbies begin their great adventure. The second is usually a fluctuation
between "some ol&', same ol' " and delight
in the privilege of being with our children all day. The third,
ahhh…this is the pinnacle we all work toward…graduation!
But somewhere in the second stage lies a hidden sub-level that
homeschool moms don't talk about. It begins when many get
lost in the illusion of fantastic stories and statistics (all meant
to be encouraging) of super homeschoolers. These super homeschoolers
and their families live on small self-sufficient farms where they
raise their own livestock, fruits and vegetables; make their own
clothes, their children have all read War and Peace by their third-grade
year, they have formed their own family orchestra and every evening
they play the chamber music that the oldest two siblings have co-written
AND the parents have written an entire curriculum that keeps them
in demand at homeschool conventions across the country. Oh, by the
way, all the children aced their SATs and entered an ivy-league
college at age 16.
That's when we can come to the point where burn-out could
be on the horizon if we try to live up to the exception (note family
above) rather than the rule. YES…homeschoolers score an average
of 30-35 points above their public/private school counter-parts
on the SATs. YES…ivy-league colleges are welcoming homeschoolers
with open arms. YES…because of the love and time that homeschool
families have with each other our families can (and DO) do superior,
wonderful things together! BUT…the burn-out can come when
a mom tries to live up to that ideal everyday.
Many moms on this level can feel like the hamster in the wheel…running,
running, running but going nowhere. While Dad is at work, mom is
home acting as teacher, nurse, short-order cook, police officer,
librarian, taxi cab driver…and on and on. With so much demand
on her it isn't difficult to understand why she might feel
unloved, inadequate and insignificant.
Something I have been heard to say more than once to moms in our
support group is: "Even though we homeschoolers are very independent,
it's still no place to be an island." What I mean is
that we need spiritually and emotionally fed.
We must feed ourselves on the spiritual food of God's Word.
This is where The Source of all has given us instruction and spiritual
nourishment. This is where our real strength comes from. Whether
you prefer to read and pray in the morning or evening makes no difference.
Just do it! "But I don't have the time! I can't
read and pray in the morning because I barely get up before my kids.
I can't read and pray at night because I'm so tired
I fall asleep after the first sentence." I used to feel the
same way. Personally, I read and pray at night and fall asleep ruminating
on what I have studied. The Lord doesn't care what time of
day we talk to Him…He just wants us to talk to Him! You will
be amazed at how this changes your day.
You need to be emotionally fed as well. Of course, the Lord is
first in this area, BUT the first mortal you need to go to is your
husband. He has no idea what you've been through or what you
need unless you tell him. As much as we wish they were mind-readers,
sadly they are not. If he will help you for a half an hour a day
to take time for a sip of tea and read a book or even going to the
grocery by yourself can have a reviving effect of your mind.
Another emotional out-let can be your support group. "As
iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Prov. 27:17)
Everyone there has been through, or will go through, what you are
going through. Use them…that's why they are there. In
our area we have a weekly gym day at a YMCA. The students have dubbed
us moms "The Lounging Mamas" because many of us meet
in the lounge. While we are there, we do everything from write lesson
plans, to gab, to share new ideas and to PRAY.
Dear friendships are made in these groups. Don't isolate
yourself by thinking that you are the only one who has a "low"
day in a world of perfect homeschoolers. You won't be embarrassed,
you will find a sisterhood that the Lord has purposely put in your
path. (2 Cor. 1:3-4)
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