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Minute to Minute
Readers Helping
Readers | |
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| July 28th, 2007 |
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Last week Molly asked if her son's struggle with school
had to do with his being a late-bloomer, frustration, or
rebellion. Your desire to help a fellow homeschool
mom and her son to love learning came through loud and
clear in the numerous e-mails we received!
If
your child is struggling like Molly's then take a look at the
answers we've gleaned from those who have gone before.
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| Don't Forget
to Pray and Play |
Dear Molly,
I had a little boy, now a young adult, who was
reluctant to do any school work. He wanted to be
outdoors and play. All of his friends were reading well
by the time they were 6 but he just wasn't interested. I
prayed and tapped into as many creative resources as
possible. I taught him math using candies,
toys, puzzles anything I could think of to make learning fun
for him. When it came to reading I taught him phonics on
the sidewalk with chalk and writing by scribbling in pans of
cornmeal. I even used pudding for finger paint as a
special reward when he'd learned all his letters. Even
the bathtub became a place of learning when we sprayed shaving
cream on the tiles and practiced writing his
letters. I was always looking for new ways to teach that
would keep his interest.
By the time he was finishing his second grade
year, he took off with his reading and I slowly moved to more
traditional methods of teaching. I never abandoned hands
on ways of teaching him. I found a math curriculum that
used manipulatives and discovered the wonderful freedom of
unit studies. I often had to suppress my feelings of
inadequacy because our ways were so unconventional but in the
long run my boy was able to enjoy his childhood and
learning.
When I look back, even though I felt like I was
grasping at straws, I see that God did guide me in teaching my
energetic, nontraditional child. If he'd been placed in
a traditional school situation he would have either driven the
teacher crazy or been squashed by the strict structure.
I'm thankful for the call of homeschooling on my life and know
that when God calls you to do something, He equips you to get
it done. My prayer is that you will relax and enjoy your
little boy. He will grow up quickly. Pray for
discernment asking God to give you wisdom as to when
discipline is in order. Creative teaching isn't a free
for all, it's just a wonderful way to meet the needs of each
of your children. Isn't that one of the reasons we
homeschool in the first place?
One last thing that is very important...do not
compare yourself or him to others! Obey the call of God
on your lives and trust God for the answers. When we
compare ourselves or our children to others we put undue
pressure on the entire family. The only standard we are
to follow is Jesus.
Blessings,
Barbara
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| Read Together |
Dear
Molly,
Your precious
son sounds frustrated and I know this situation must be
pulling at your heart strings. It seems as if your
son has all three things you asked about...a bad
attitude because of genuine
frustration and he lacks
readiness. More than likely, the bad attitude will go
and the readiness will come if the source of the genuine
frustration is removed.
At this
tender age, it is not so important that he learn to read but
rather, and far more importantly, that he develop a love of
learning. I suggest that you put away the "reading"
manual and instead, you read to him. Read wonderful
living stories. Read fantastic works of literature which
have a boy as the main character. Read about animals in
natural settings, read, read, read!
Then for his
sake and yours, get that boy outside! :-) Allow
him ample time outdoors to explore and learn. There will
be time enough for him to master reading and he will!
Let him enjoy his childhood and develop a love of learning
that will be with him for a lifetime. When he is old he
will not remember that he learned to read at "such and such"
age. However he will remember with fondness his
childhood if he is given abundant opportunity to learn through
playing and exploring outdoors and listening to wonderful
stories read by his own dear mother.
Some examples
of titles or authors to for you to read:
Some examples
of things to read to him:
a plethora of
others :-)
Sincerely,
Krista |
| Dealing with Frustration
Appropriately |
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Dear
Molly,
I
really relate to your quandary. I've had several
children respond with frustration and bad attitudes about
schoolwork. Knowing the underlying thoughts and
attitudes can be very puzzling, so ask God for insight
for you and your husband.
Your
observation that "he gets very frustrated when he doesn't
understand something" gives a good clue to might be going
on. He may be frustrated when something does not come
easily to him, and he doesn't want to persevere through
it. Watch to see if this is a pattern in chores and
play, too. Does he respond with frustration when he
tries to do what you've told him to? If so, he needs to
be taught godly responses to frustration. For example,
when something is hard or he doesn't get it, he can
say "this is hard, can you help me?" He also
needs have practice persevering; see if you can find
things he can do that are a little hard, but with your
encouragement to persevere, he can have some
successes. He might then see the rewards of persevering,
like a sense of accomplishment (make sure friends and family
acknowledge his efforts) and the enjoyment of new skills or
things he made. Also, search the Bible for incidents of
perseverance and instructions about it. As Romans 5:3-4
says, this struggle may be just what God is using to develop
his character through learning to persevere.
That said, I
would not push him, either. My oldest really struggled
with reading at first, and the lessons were both a struggle
and boring, no matter what curriculum I used (I tried
several.) I slowed down and was low-key, but kept at
it. He finally took off at around age 8 and became a
great reader. I'd say just do a little 3 to 4 days per
week, with the other days doing fun things that are easier for
him, like games or fun computer programs where he needs to use
the skills he does have down pat.
Now, if he
rejects your training and help, or if he doesn't even attempt
to do what you tell him to do, then you will need to deal with
him as you deal with rebellion. We had one child that
needed this kind of correction, but it took us a while of
testing his responses in various situations before we decided
it was refusal to cooperate instead of just frustration.
After a while of showing that we would not tolerate his saying
"I can't do it!" and crying angrily, he decided to cooperate
and work through the difficult things; and he blossomed.
Just the other day, he spontaneously told me, "Thank you for
teaching me to read, and I really like math!" All the
struggles are forgotten! "Let us not grow weary in doing
good, for in due season, we shall reap!"
-
Anonymous |
| Encouragement From Others... |
Time to take
a break and relax. Approach his lessons in a bit of
different fashion, like games and reading together early
readers that he can read and enjoy. Put the fun back
into your school. Not all kids are self taught and some
need breaks from lessons once and awhile. They will
still be learning, but the sight of the book Teach Your Child to Read in
100 Easy Lessons, may just
add too much tension for the time being. Enjoy his
learning and relax.
~Karen
Something I started with him a few months ago
was very short lessons everyday (M-F). The consistency helps
with his attitude, and the lessons started out at 5 min.
apiece, and have gradually grown longer. He can now sit still
and concentrate for about 20 min. on a good day. Yes, 5 min.
lessons are very short, but a few minutes with him actually
getting it was better than what we had been doing.
~ElizaBeth
Perhaps you could try some
unit studies based on topics he is interested in. I really
like the lap books by "In the Hands of Child".
~Alice
My son had an undiagnosed vision problem that
we didn't discover until the end of 2nd grade. I had
thought he was a late bloomer, then we worked on attitude and
self-motivation, then I began to check for other issues.
He started vision therapy at the beginning of 3rd grade and it
took 4 months. During the time of his therapy we dropped
most of his visual work. I just read to him a lot.
By the time the therapy was done, his reading went up about 2
grade levels. At age 6 it is often to early to know
exactly what the real issues are. Just be sensitive and
really pray God will lead you in the right direction and give
you a peace about the real cause of his problems. Don't
assume he is just being naughty. You know your son the
best and can begin to sense if he is being lazy or if he has
another concern that you may need to research further.
~Jill
My younger son started saying he hated school
even
though he wasn't required to do any school work because
he thought school was the reason I didn't allow game cube all
day. When he finally figured out that he wouldn't be
allowed to play game cube all day even if my older son and I
didn't do school work, he quit saying he hated school.
Kids have many other reasons for disliking school work.
The first thing I would do is find out what it is about
"school" that your son dislikes.
~Cari
I too tried 100 Easy Lessons with
our 6 year old. We made it through maybe 10 lessons
before I realized this didactic style of teaching was just
plain boring to him. The same is true for our 5 year
old. I was given a copy of Dr. Ruth Beechick's book, A Home Start in Reading
and immediately knew this was what my boys needed. Dr.
Beechick's approach is more game-like. Instead of
sitting in front of your child with a book, you are 'playing
games' and they are learning more. You are still
teaching the sound of the letters rather than the names, but
with a hands on approach. ~Marcia
If your son is truly struggling, consider
reviewing the past 5-10 lessons so that their concepts become
easy and automatic for him before adding on more complexity.
And then perhaps keep your pace slower as you move on; maybe
do half a lesson per day, or do a new lesson one day &
repeat it the next. I found that slowing down and
letting my child shine was a big key to success!
~Lucy |
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|
Thank you for responding to
Molly's question! So many of you responded with
encouraging letters about your own experiences. Please
remember to pray for Molly and her son as she sorts
through your suggestions and discovers what it is her son
needs. If you have a question you would like to ask to
other homeschool moms please email us. When you email us you give us permission to post
your question in a future Minute to Minute newsletter. Sincerely, |
Paul and Gena Suarez, Publishers
The Old Schoolhouse
Magazine | | |
