Minute to Minute
Readers Helping Readers

September 8th, 2007

Last week we had a question from a Down Under mom who is feeling down about homeschooling. No matter what she does, her children are not motivated to do school. She asked our Minute to Minute readers for advice on how to motivate her children and you responded with wonderful tips, suggestions, and ideas on how to motivate the unmotivated homeschooler.

Thank you for writing in with your suggestions. Because you wrote in, you were able to help not just one homeschool mom, but all the Minute to Minute readers who feel just like Alison. Without further adieu, here is what you wrote. . . .

Something Special

For A Limited Time. . . .

Lean on the Lord and Relax

Dear Alison,

I have just started reading an excellent book entitled, A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning by Karen Andreola. I am finding this book very encouraging. The advice in this book can put the most seasoned of homeschoolers at rest. One part I especially love is directing younger children to what she calls "living books," which are simply, books written by one author on a subject that author is passionate about. Directing children to things that interest them and not just books filled with multiple, dry facts.

I have had many frustrating days, just as you have. My children that are still at home are all in their teens this year and are gearing toward the more dutiful subjects with the dryer content, finally exhibiting ownership for their own education. The 'drag' days are seeming to become farther and farther apart as they grow older.

Our life has by no means been an easy road over the last five plus years with my husbands job loss, his returning to school, my being diagnosed with cancer and still having to work part time, plus homeschool. The list beyond those few things gets lengthy. My reason for saying that is just to encourage you to keep your heart and mind on the Lord, who called you to homeschool your kids. In the midst of all of our struggles my heart has stayed upon what the Lord has told me to do and that is to homeschool my precious kids (despite my many feelings of inadequacy). I'm definitely no heroine. I just follow the leading of the Lord, rely on His ability, and trust the fact that He has called me. He sees the value He can instill in my kids through me. Where I fall short (which has been much over the years), He is more than ample to make up the difference to an overflowing amount. His biggest word to me over the years has been, "RELAX." Not that we get lazy and do nothing. It has just been a thing of having a plan and allowing Him to move my schedule if things aren't working. I always try to pray and listen for His direction.

Our children learn many things from us, not just the stuff from books. My kids know how much I love books. One of my daughters "eats" books by how much she reads. She is now sixteen and only last year did she really start applying (working daily is what I mean by applying) herself to the dryer stuff (she is beginning to really own it as her responsibility and not just her mother's). What I want to encourage you in is that she has learned much by just following those things that interest her! Plus, she is very creative. . . amazingly creative! I have wondered that if I wasn't 'forced' to relax by all of the hardship and just stuck to factual learning, if that creativity would have been sorely stifled or even snuffed out! Our job is to train our children in the way they should go and it is an individual path as unique as their individual personalities. That never ceases to amaze me! I am diligently given over to do whatever the Lord leads me in to help my kids achieve His path and plan for them in this life. . .instructing, encouraging, teaching by my life example.

As further encouragement,I wanted to tell you that my oldest daughter lives in another city, works, and goes to college and is pulling a 4.0 GPA. We did not spend 'traditional' school days with her, either. In fact this child started traveling around the world on missions at age fourteen. None of my other children have done any traveling outside the U.S. so far (Individual paths). I hope this has helped you. Just remember, the Lord loves your kids more than you do, and if you stay close to His heart everything will turn out just great despite any odds you may encounter!

From the heart,

Robin :-D

7 Keys to Success

Dear Alison,
I know that you and your husband desire the best for your children, that's why you homeschool. Sometimes our best intentions don't work out. When you feel like throwing
in the towel and end up grumpy, know that many of us, throughout the world, who are
also homeschoolers experience the same. Everyone is human; everyone has earthly
desires; everyone wants his own way. But the only way is God's way.

We have an awesome God who knows the depths of our hearts. He gave us our children
because He knew we could raise them. If we focus on our weaknesses and not His strengths,
we will be discouraged. If we focus on His strengths then we can do all things through
Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).

As to having fun while homeschooling, it can be attained, but then, it's not "real world."
Not all the work we do is fun (cleaning toilets, paying the bills, etc.), but if our perspective
is God-centered, we can enjoy doing it because we're doing it for Him.
My heart is with you. My husband and I purposed to focus on our daughter's attitudes and
behavior because it affects every aspect of our lives. And while it means focused, consistent, hard work, we are slowly getting dividends in our investment. We found the
following to be true:

1. Pray for your children every day. Ask God to give you His perspective on how
to train them. Also ask Him to give you a Scripture for each child. In Numbers 6:24-26
the LORD told Moses to bless the children of Israel with this blessing, "The LORD bless
thee and keep thee: The LORD make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace." Bless your children
every day. Ask God to intervene in their lives and transform them into His image. I've
found that change happens in my children only when I change. Ask the Lord to transform
your husband and you, too.

2. Begin each day with prayer as a family and do Bible study together. This places the Lord
first before all things and provides them with the perspective that God is first. Your
children will begin to understand that your life and the world does not revolve around them;
it revolves around Jesus Christ. When they understand the proper order--Christ is the head
of the home, then the father, mother, and children--things will change. (See Colossians
3:18-21 and Ephesians 6:1-4) Because your husband does the majority of the teaching and
is head of your home, he should lead in prayer and Bible study. The best place to start in
Bible study is the Bible. Catherine F. Vos's, The Child's Story Bible, is a great read aloud.
You can always have your Bible along side and reference the text. I always had my daughter
draw or color the content while I read. I also had her tell me what I was reading. It brought
up some very good discussions and helped her to process what we were reading.

3. Teach them that everything they do, from playing to studying, from bathing to daily
chores, is to be done for the Lord. Colossians 3:23-24 states, "And whatsoever ye do, do
it heartily, as to the Lord and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive
the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." This adds perspective to how
they are to do what they do. Many things have value, sometimes we forget this. We
need to be reminded that what we value sometimes isn't the best for us and as parents
we need to help our children recognize what is valuable and what is not (think of it as
"investing"). Is getting their way valuable to them? What has it cost them? What have
they received from their "investments"? You reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-9).
Good examples of this are a garden (good plants vs. weeds), a cake made with
salt, and off days.

4. Ask the Lord to show you each child's strengths and weaknesses. My daughter and I
were studying something and had to stop because she didn't want to do it. I don't
remember why, but I began to tell her what her strengths were; then what her
weaknesses were. I also shared with her that a weakness is nothing more than a
strength that hasn't been reached. I used my fingers to show that weaknesses start
at the bottom, but that when we work at them, they can end up as strengths. She then
said, "Oh, I get it! A weakness is an unfound strength."

5. Give them appropriate projects which focus on their likes or passions but are tied
to whatever it is they're studying. Molly's passion is reading; let her read all she can
about the subject that she chooses, along with your guidance, at the library. Richard
likes to make things, have him make a Roman horse when studying about Troy. Kelly
likes art, have her do a painting to represent the math she's studying.This gives them
some control over what they're studying and application to real life. Also, give each one
of them one-on-one time each day. Take walks, wash dishes together, feed the dog, play,
read, snuggle, joke and laugh, climb a tree, have a tea party, or a toy car rally.

6. Let them have a 15 to 20 minute recess in the morning and at lunch to release some
energy.

7. Jesus said that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34).
Let your children know that even on off days, you love and cherish them. Remind them
that it's not them you don't like or love, but the behavior.

May the Lord bless the work of your hands which He has established for you (Psalm 90:17)
and bless you with the blessings He has for you (Psalm 115:12-15).

A Homeschool Mom,
Maria

Motivation From the Homeschool Moms. . . .

I also am an Aussie mum who homeschools. My son will do almost anything to avoid the work I require from him, although I try often to vary his learning and include a lot of hands on stuff. At times he has been happy to work hard one day for the next day off. On his days off I try to involve him in something he enjoys but also something I see as being educational--most activities are if you want to see them that way. At the moment, he is tinkering with an old car we have in the paddock with the hope of getting some practice with his driving skills. We have just introduced a new sport--lawn bowls, and he is aware that if his work is not done, he doesn't go. . . Well, that is all I have; good luck.

~Helen

I have experienced the same thing with my daughter. I have developed a time table for her to follow concerning her activities which she can only do after she finishes her school work. I always pray for wisdom and patience. God's guidance and strength is only a prayer away. God bless and hope for the best.
~Joycelyn

I am a homeschooling mom of 2 teenagers who also works from home. Talk about wanting to pull your hair out. I don't know if this will help you, but it sure has made a difference to our daily experiences. Last year it was pretty much get it done sometime today and that will be okay; it never got done. So this year I spoke with friends from our 4-H homeschool group and implemented this: I get up around 6 and make sure they have all of their individual stuff assigned on a sheet of paper, detailing what they have to do and then put it in their basket with their name on it, supplies are there and clearly marked (they can't say I can't find it). They get up at 7 and have until 8 to eat and get dressed just like they were going "out" to school (you really do get more done like this), then meet me at the table with their books and list of assignments. They work until it's done. No one gets TV or computer that day unless they finish their school work (no ipods, no cell phone, no going anywhere, etc.). They tried me a couple of times and still do every once in a while to see if I will cave, but for the most part they don't like to miss these things so they get their work done in about 2 to 3 hours. Hope this helps some.

~Theresa

I'm homeschooling 3, like you, but our school day is more like 8-2:00. We do have days when the kids don't want to do what they need to, but I've found that a loose schedule helps us a lot!! Do you have a structure to your days? Do you do some subjects together? We use the whole house. Kitchen table for writing and math, living room for Bible and history, and a quick walk with the dogs after lunch keeps us all going in the afternoon. I also try to plan out meals for a week or so to avoid spending time and energy thinking about food when we're doing school. Do money or treats motivate your kids? We did use a basket of dollar store stuff (silly string, yo-yos, stickers, and even some food goodies) for incentives last year, and it worked fairly well, but not for all subjects. How old are your kids? If you have teens they may need to start the day later, but I assume if 2 hours is all you need that they're still young. Have you tried unit study type curriculum? We did that several years ago, and it certainly helps keep little ones interested. I'll be praying that you get some answers that are helpful!!
~Sue

I would suggest, actually, taking some time off. Perhaps a couple of weeks. Go on lots of nature walks and visit places that you can get to in a day. Just enjoy some time together. During that time, ask your kids, what they like and don't like about school. After a few days off, with no pressure, they may just open up and tell you what's going on in their heads. I do this whenever my kids seem to dislike school. They usually give ideas I never thought of.

~Gwen

We have been going through the same thing with my nephew! I homeschool my nephew(age 7) and daughter (age 6). What really helped with them is giving them a little control over the school day. I realized they were both getting bored because we had so many worksheets with every subject. So I gave them a choice between spelling worksheets or an online spelling program. Of course they chose the spelling program with the games. This really motivates my nephew who is addicted to video games. Likewise, we got rid of the worksheets for science and history, and they are lapbooking those subjects. For science they are given a choice in topics, within limits. For example, we are working on animals, so I let them pick which animals they would like to study. My nephew picked sharks first and my daughter picked butterflies. We have Friday library days, and we go to the library and find books about their chosen topics. We use these books as our text books, use Hands of a Child project packs (See resources below), and watch videos as well. We also memorize poems and they get to choose which poem they will work on this month. I also let them have some say in what our schedule looks like. I give them both copies of their individual schedules, and they can pick through to some extent what to do next. They also love putting a check next to the items we have completed. I am now re-evaluating our phonics and Bible programs. Really getting them involved with the planning process has made my day go so much smoother.
~Christie

Homeschooling Resources

Beginning Reading Project Pack-Hands on for kids

Looking for a fun, unusual way to help your beginning student learn to read? Try the Hands of a Child Beginning Reading Project Pack. This 133-page project pack includes a short story and 5 hands-on activities for each of the short vowel sounds as well as games and activities for all short vowels combined. That's not all! A total of 30 hands-on activities for the beginning blend and short vowel sounds! One of our biggest units yet, this Beginning Reader Project Pack is packed full of fun stories, hands-on activities, and games to get your beginner reading!

Complete your next lapbook with ready-to-assemble Project and Research Packs from In the Hands of a Child! Whether you are planning a lapbooking or unit study on Geography, Literature, Science, History, the Bible, or any other topic, they will help you put laughter and learning together In the Hands of a Child! For more Hands of a Child Project Packs click here.

Homeschooling Resources

E-Book: Out-of-the-Box Education is a compilation of newsletter entries, blog posts, articles, and ideas intended to inspire and encourage you in your pursuit of creatively educating your children. Written by the Times Tales ladies, Dena Wood, Jennie vonEggers Marillee Flanagan, and very creative guest author Jene' Murphy, Out-of-the-Box Education is filled with pictures, ideas, and resources for pre-K through 6th grade. Download today to make school more fun tomorrow!

Thanks to your faithful responses to Alison's motivation dilemma, she will now find strength and encouragement through your letters. If you have a question you would like to ask other homeschool moms please email us. When you email us you give us permission to post your question in the Minute to Minute e-newsletter or use it in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine's My Voice column if selected.

Sincerely,

Nancy Carter, The Homeschool Minute Editor
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine