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Minute to Minute
Readers Helping
Readers | |
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| November 3rd, 2007 |
| Last week Barb wrote in telling the Minute to Minute
readers how she felt confused and alone as a homeschool mom.
This week we received over 2 dozen responses with words of
encouragement and advice for Barb. Although all the letters
could not be posted, copies of each were sent to Barb and are
encouraging her even now.
Not only were our homeschool moms able to
encourage Barb, but they also encouraged Kim, another
homeschool mom who shares Barb's feelings. Kim wrote in
telling Minute to Minute that she felt the same way as Barb
and couldn't wait to hear the responses. Please keep both of
these wonderful ladies in your prayers, and never stop
encouraging one another.
Thank you so much for replying to Barb's plea
for help. Hopefully your friendly, kind words will show her
that there are people out there who care about her and her
son. As we care for one another, we are daily reminded of the
greatest One who cares for us.
"Casting all
your care upon Him; for He careth for
you."
I Peter
5:7 | |
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| Friends, Fellowship, and Mom Time |
| Dear Barb,
Although I am not a single parent now,
I was 15 years ago for 10 years, and I understand
the loneliness. I have 4 children, the oldest 3 are all
married with children of their own. We have a 14 year
old son at home. When we decided to homeschool him 4
years ago, we had the same conversations with our older kids
and family. He 'll be alone, no friends; he needs to be
with kids his own age, ect. My husband travels a lot with his
work so I am alone with my son for extended periods of
time. I understand how you feel. You feel just as
lonely as your son, if not more.
What we did was find a church where
there were kids my son's age. He has 2 friends
he sees outside of church, and he is active with our
church's youth group. I know your son is only 9 but
lots of churches have good children's programs. My son gets
lonely too, but he does not want to go back to public school.
I've found Cub Scouts is a good thing to join,
most meet in the evenings; some places even have
homeschool Packs. As for myself, I have picked one
thing to do just for myself once a week. I do a Bible
study for women. There are other things out there as
well: craft classes, book clubs, gyms, find something
just for you with other adults.
Homeschooling one or ten is hard. After
four years, I have found there is no such thing as the perfect
homeschool. What I have found is that as long as I
continue to do what God has called me to do, and I rely on Him
as David did, I have His strength to make it through even in
my doubtful times. The blessings you and your son will
recieve for your obedience will make all the trials worth
it. Although my older children still don't totally agree
with us, they have seen the fruits in their brother and are
proud of him. Most homeschool moms find themselves
on their knees regularly wondering, "Lord, what am I
doing?" and then we remember, "I can do ALL things
through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians
4:13)
Blessings,
Tammy |
| Be Strong in the Lord |
Dear Barb,
My heart broke as I read your letter.
Though I am not a single mother, my husband has spent so much
time away from us because of work and school that I have
felt like a single mom at times. I too, when starting out in
homeschooling my kids, had no people-support system of any
kind. Up until the last couple of years,
homeschooling was a solo flight for me. I have been
homeschooling for fourteen years now, but it has been the Lord
and I through it all. I must say that about nine years ago the
Lord did give me a relationship with a more seasoned Christian
woman (in her late sixties) who has been a constant source of
encouragement despite the flood of ongoing outside
assaults/blows to get me off of this path.
I have also
had angry and depressed children, and the key is to not let
that anger manipulate you but continue to just love your
hurting child and stay close to the Lord. I had to learn
to really trust the Lord with my kids and though I'm not a
master at trusting Him in this area, I have come a long
way.
Every time I come up against a wall in
relation to the hardships my children face, the Lord has never
failed me in providing ways to help my children. Sometimes it
takes quite a while to help them to overcome it, but the Lord
provides the steps to help them. He has NEVER failed me in
this! There were times when I wanted to faint because my
emotions for my children in what they were going through had
overwhelmed me, but I kept close to the Lord, and He
delivered me time and time again.
I remind
myself that the Lord loves my children even more than I do,
and if I just continue to turn to Him, He provides every
solution. He provides beyond the times I haven't heard or
obeyed correctly; He is the God of the second, third, fourth
and numberless chance; He knows that our hearts lean
towards Him and wants to execute His plan for these treasures
He has given us to help mold. It is all a learning ground
for mom and child. Surrender, your emotions to the Lord.
He loves you and cares about what you are going
through. He sees your struggle, your pain, your tears; He
sees your precious son. The Lord will love your son through
you; through Christ you can do all things. You are
on the right path; do not grow weary; learn to find your
strength in Him.
Don't worry about behaviors
that you see; don't let them throw you. Set the example for
your son; if you react to him, the harder it will be. As
one mother who has been there and who has cried over the
emotional pain of her children, but who has also deeply
trusted the Lord (in the beginning only because I was forced
to because there were no people to rely on) you are on the
right path, though you can't see it right now.
On the
above note, if I had let my emotions rule me and had followed
the remarks and
comments of onlookers, or if I had other
people in my life, I would not have relied on
the
Lord. He alone knows in what conditions our children
will grow best. He alone is the only One who can provide
the right answer to each trial we face. We can listen to
suggestions from others, but if after presenting those
suggestions to the Lord we do not have peace in our hearts,
then it wasn't Him. Let His Word, the Bible and His peace
guide you. Also, I know now without a shadow of a doubt that
my kids would not be doing as well as they are if I hadn't
trusted Him and had trusted people instead. The Lord sees
the outcome of everything and what it will take to bring about
the right outcome.
I hope this has encouraged you in
some way; my heart hurts so for you, I have been
there. I pray you are encouraged today to stay the course
you are on. Good job, mom!!! Keep going! The Lord
will provide you with everything you and your son
need!!!! I know, He has done it for me, and He'll do it
for you if you just ask Him to.
From the heart and from
another mom who cares about
you,
Robin |
| A Few Things to Consider |
Dear Barb,
My heart goes out to you. I just had to write
to let you know a few things:
not everyone receiving these
emails has a local group, not everyone is married with lots of
kids; there is one mom I have met who is single with twin
boys, and she is home educating.
Your boy is
being socialized!! He is getting a better deal than with a
whole bunch of same-age classmates who tease him. By being
with you and your young clients he is learning lots of good
things:
(1) he is not the center of the universe
(2)
other children of different ages have different preferences
for play
(3) mom has to earn an income
(4) despite being busy,
his mom really cares for him and is doing the best she can for
him.
The bit about "they all go to church" at the end
of your query, I guess The Old School House is
targeting Christian home educators in the stuff they promote,
so most of us recipients will be Christian. I frankly
could not cope with home educating if it weren't for a
relationship with God. It is primarily because of our concern
over morals and educational content that we have chosen this
path. Praying daily for help, for patience, for His love for
my kids keeps me going.
Whatever you manage to do for
your son will be better than how much he could possibly learn
in an environment of teasing which is not conducive to
learning anything but how cruel kids can be.
I have 3
children: a 10 yr. daughter, an 8 yr. son, and 5 yr. son. None
of them have ever been invited to a child's birthday party
individually (we have been to 2 as a family) as they just
don't have friends the same age. When school kids in the area
have a party it is their classmates that they invite, even if
we have invited them previously to our kids' parties. It
breaks my heart as much as theirs. Not that I want them
going to parties and eating lots of junk food but rather that
no other kids count them friend-enough to invite them along.
I reckon the moms who breeze through are the ones who
have time to write in. Those of us for whom it is all just a
big slog are too busy and stressed to write anything. I
usually fall in the latter category but am writing this
as I could see you needed a little encouragement.
A Fellow Homeschool Mom,
Alison
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| From the Experienced. . . .
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You said in
your post your son "wasn't learning as fast as the rest. . .
." The key is right there.
Not all children learn at the same pace or even have the
same learning style. Barring any learning disabilities,
your son simply needs more time to develop and
mature. Did you know that Louis Pasteur was a slower
learner? Yep, it's true. He did so poorly in school that
his teacher had the audacity to tell his mother that he was
incapable of learning. If I remember correctly,
I don't think he learned to read until he was 12 years
old. As the mother of a slow learner that was very
comforting to me and gave me hope that my son, Austin, would
develop and mature if he was just given the time. I would like
to recommend a book on this very subject. It is titled
wife were also pioneers in the homeschooling
movement.
~Kelly
Barb, you sound like you are doing a great job plus more for your son. I agree with you, yourson has learned more in 1 school year with you than all of the 3 years he was in public school! Keep it up! He sounds like he gets plenty of interaction with kids in the activities he is in and with the daycare kids he interacts with daily! The great thing about homeschooling is that kids get to be around people and kids of all ages during the day, not just 1 age group. Unless we
have twins, all homeschool kids are spending the day with brothers and sisters of all ages. Your story touched my heart because I put my son in preschool for 2 years, and he went each morning crying because he hated it and never learned even how to write his name! I finally sat
down with him and in 1 week he learned how to write his name. I've homeschooled him since then. He is 9 now and his only playmate during the day is a 6 year old brother. The boys are in
bowling and have friends from church, neighbor kids, and cousins to play with. You have a full plate; God bless you for making such sacrifices and taking such great care of your son. You are truly doing what is best for him! If you don't already belong to a church, I encourage you to find a church. Homeschooling has become a popular choice for Christians; that is where I get my homeschool support. We live in a small town so there is no homeschool support groups, but the church has been great! I do have to say though, my greatest strength, help, and support has come from the Lord. If it weren't for Him, I would probably have given up a long time ago! I will be praying for you! ~Brenda My heart goes out to you. I have such a different life
than you do. I am a mom to 7 and have
a great husband. We attend church all the time, and we
are involved with other homeschooling
families. But there have been times over the last 14
years of homeschooling that I have felt so
very alone. We all have times in our lives that we feel
alone, even in a crowd. The one thing I
have stood on since day one is the reason for
homeschooling. I go to the beginning and relive
the reason why we started homeschooling. For our family
our reason was strictly because God
told us to do it. There are homeschoolers everywhere.
There are homeschooling support groups everywhere. Check HSLDA for a state
support group which can lead you to a local support group.
If you are not in a good solid church please seek one
out. I wish you could join me at my church. I will say a
prayer for you. May God bless you as you find answers.
~Jane
My heart goes out to you. You are in a challenging place
right now BUT. . .there is GREAT hope. Please, the first thing
you must stop doing is listening to the negative comments of
others and/or comparing your son (and yourself) with others.
God gave your son to you and so the fit is ideal. I'm sad
for your son that he has been so hurt BUT, know one thing. .
.God will use all he's been through for GOOD and your son
and you will be strengthened because of and in spite of those
hard times. You mentioned your son is having a hard time
learning to read. May I recommend Teach Your Child to Read in
100 Easy Lessons. When he's ready for English try Easy Grammar; it's
wonderul. When he's ready to learn about different types of
writing, there's a fairly new but good writing program that is
simple, short, and fun called Jump In from Apologia.
~Kathie |
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| Homeschooling Resources |
Edutunes: Advanced Phonics CD/Book
Set includes 25 original
songs that address the more difficult concepts in learning to
read. Complete with full-size, 62-page book of lyrics and
classroom-tested teaching ideas. Help your child learn to read
with Edutunes!
Click here to see Edutunes:
Phonics Time CD/Book
Set. |
| Homeschooling Resources |
Beginning with
God is a highly acclaimed kid's devotional by
national best-selling and Gold Medallion award-winning
children's book author Steve Barcliff. Designed to help
children grow in their first steps with Jesus, this book
reaches kids where they are. Beginning with God
contains fifty-two seasonal units which include a
contemporary story and five additional sections-questions, a
Bible story, prayer suggestions, a fun activity, and a memory
verse -that relate to each devotion's theme.
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Thank you for writing with your encouragement and advice
for Barb and her son. If you have a question you would like to
ask our Minute to Minute readers, please email us. When you
email us you give
us permission to post your questions in the Minute to
Minute e-newsletter and use them in The Old Schoolhouse
Magazine's My Voice
column if selected. Sincerely, |
Elisabeth Marlowe, The Minute to
Minute Editor
The Old Schoolhouse
Magazine | | |
