HOME Where They Belong

Most of us homeschool mamas have a husband. A beloved partner we are privileged to serve and grow old with, right? A man who galliantly returns home from work each day only to waltz in with flowers in one hand and a dark chocolate mocha for us in the other. A man to whom we swoon over, adore and quickly serve dinner all the while bearing our 12th child. A marriage so perfect and so wonderful that it is almost a fairy tale incarnate. Sigh.

Before I began homeschooling, I had visions of hot, home cooked meals, Daddy at night in his easy chair with all of our braniac children (because of my teaching, of course!) surrounding him to show off their latest bronze art sculptures or science experiments (like their highly specialized robot creation that cleaned house). These perfect offspring would all graduate by the age of 12 and have their Masters degrees by the tender age of 17. They'd go on to win Nobel Peace Prizes... My house would always smell of the deep forest after a spring rain, and whole-grain homemade bread would perpetually come prancing out of the oven, hot and fluffy.

Then I woke up. Ummm. Let's be real, here, OK? My house may smell of a rainforest some days but that's not fresh rainwater you're smelling; it's probably mildewy socks that got lost under the rug. Or, it could be toilet water (don't ask). And I do make bread, but often it is from a mix or I "make" it by untying the twisty tie and pulling it out of the cellophane and tossing it on a plate. Maybe we'll even have butter tonight (or perhaps not). And yes, my husband does bring me a mocha sometimes; he's so sweet. But rarely do I thrust my arms about him when he valliantly rushes in - and often dinner is late or overcooked. And no, I'm not on my 12th child. I seem to have stopped at four - and I've not noticed that perhaps I could be on my 9th by now. Where does the TIME go? Drat. I guess my dreams didn't come out like I thought. You know what? Thank goodness!

I love my life - my REAL life. I look for the happy times, the joy I can find in each day. Through the gross smells, vomit-ridden flu seasons, snot in my hair when a child has cried into it - I find real life. I've found true love. This is where I live. My family is my greatest love, particularly my husband. To honor and serve him is my greatest blessing. God Himself has smiled on me with the family I've been given, and He blesses me when I obey Him by serving said family. So yes, those pre-homeschooling dreams sorta went POOF when real life took over. Isn't that GREAT?! Welcome to the real world. It may smell funny, but at least there's nothing phony going on (like our silly expectations). Go hug a child (or 12) right now. And when Hubby comes home tonight...get the cookies and candles out. ;-)

- Gena

Homeschool Heart

When You Have Nothing Left to Give

I can still remember the day. It was a rotten day. Really more like a rotten week. Money was tight. We had a teenage niece and her 1 year old daughter living with us and all of the stress that goes with that. I was homeschooling a 7 year old and staying busy with my 4 year old. I was stressed to the max and just felt totally drained.

And I can't remember what had happened, but I was angry, REALLY angry with my husband. And he knew it too. That day I went to volunteer at a local crisis pregnancy center and of all things, he called me there to try and make nice. I said all of the right things through gritted teeth, all the while just wanting to be left alone so I could focus on the tasks there before me. And then he went a little further. He sent a bouquet! I knew I should have been grateful, but instead I was frustrated thinking how we didn't need to spend that money.

I was just a big bundle of jumbled up emotions and stress. And I've got to admit that I was having a hard time getting my attitude in check and was dreading going home. One of the counselors was “oohing and ahhing” over how sweet my husband was when I finally broke down in tears. And I told her that I loved him, really I did, but I just didn't have anything left to give.

And that's when she told me. “Then love him with the Lord's love. Treat him like the Lord treats us – patiently, loving us unconditionally, giving grace, and truly taking delight in us... just because we're His.”

Wow, those were words straight from the Lord's heart to mine. I've never forgotten them. I don't want to just treat my husband the way that I think he “deserves” to be treated or how I “feel” like treating him. Thank goodness God doesn't do that with us. I want to show God's love to my husband everyday, no matter how I'm feeling.

I want others to see Christ in me, including my husband.

We love because He first loved us. I John 4:19

- Nancy

Homeschool Freebies!

Remember last week when I said my anniversary was this month ... and we hadn't celebrated yet? Well, gulp ... I have to contribute SOMETHING to this week's "Minute" about making time for my spouse, right?

I wish I could tell you I got roses and that we treated each other to one of the most romantic times ever. But you know what? Busyness and a previous commitment with the kids won out. We've yet to celebrate the day we joined our hearts as one.

We both need to get better at making time for each other. And we both know it. Ouch. I wish I could say that I was really good at this, but I prefer to be honest with all of you.

My goal is to put more "free" time in the schedule just for my husband. More time to sit on the couch next to him. More time to talk. More time to listen. More of my time for him.

How in THE world can I tie a free homeschooling website into this week's topic? Well how about taking advantage of these date night ideas? Or sending your husband an e-card just because? Or start a random conversation?

Get creative and make the time! It'll be worth it.

- Julie

Schoolhouse Store Spotlight

Charles E. Hummel’s essay, The Tyranny of the Urgent, lives on my desk. Occasionally, I am blessed as I force myself to take the time to read and heed his words. It is so easy, especially with homeschooling, activities, business, work, etc. to simply lose touch of what is most important – often the least “urgent” in terms of worldly standards. One of those important (but less-than-urgent) items is time with your spouse. As Julie mentions above, you mayeven need to go so far as to plan out dates (even walks or time to talk!) in an actual planner. Our Busy Woman planners are ideal for tracking all those important items as well as the “urgent”.

Another issue we sometimes encounter is what to talk about. Sadly, we can become so bogged down with the details of school, kids and work that we forget how to share about more meaningful things. One of my very favorite store products would be an ideal study to experience with your husband. Balancing the Sword is an absolutely gorgeous and detailed study of God’s word. What better way to spend time together than in God’s Word? The store description doesn’t do this set justice but you can read my detailed product review HERE.

You might also consider joining the HSB Literary Club with your husband! Our first read will be the Lamplighter book, Ishmael which I’m assured, is very much a “guy” book. We’re looking forward to some good thoughts and sharing. An ideal activity to share with your spouse.

Whatever you do to make time for your spouse, I have no doubt that you will be blessed abundantly!

-Dena

Jeneric Jeneralities

Today’s theme is "making time for your spouse." I think that it’s unfortunate this has to even be a theme. I mean, honestly, if we lived in a perfect world, mostly everything that we did as wives would already be in the context of having our husbands at the forefront of our minds.

Anyhow, I, for one, am very bad at this. I am forever saying, "Ok, hold on a second." I am sure that many days he is convinced that my email, blogging, the book I’m reading, or the radio program I’m listening to is more important to me than he is. Not that he complains much around here (he's very gracious with me). Still....it’s not our words or intentions that matter; it's our actions.

Yikes. I’ve got a lot of work to do on this one.

– Jen Ig

"I want you guys to know that The Homeschool Minute is the highlight of my week and it always is pertinent to what I am dealing with. It always resonates deeeeeeeeeply with me! It's like being thirsty and having my thirst slaked by a tall, cool glass of water. Please know that you are touching many!"

~Leanne, THM Reader ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nancy,
"Thanks for the idea you put in your Homeschool Heart Article of The Homeschool Minute. I used your idea for our Wednesday night children's church....The parents were amazed at what we got done in a fairly short amount of time and how excited the kids were about what they'd learned and what we'd done. It was all because of your suggestion. So thank you for making that suggestion....and my kids at church thank you too!"

~Joie, Homeschooling Mom of One and Teacher of Many ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Jen,
"... I just want to say thank you for your honesty and humor even in the face of your own faults. I have been enjoying your writing for some time now and your Valentine's Day article inspired me to send you a quick note to say "I love you!!" I am a recovering 'gaker' and find so much encouragement from you and others at The Old Schoolhouse. This year my husband "did" nothing but be his usual loving self for Valentine's Day and for the first time I did not get all hung up about it!! Praise God!!!"

~Rebekah, THM Reader ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I absolutely love your magazine! Every issue breathes life into my homeschooling effort, recharges my batteries. Thank you!"

~Allison, Magazine Subscriber

Come Read Along With Us!

Have you seen our new Literary Club? Join Jen and Kate as they discuss and banter the light as well as weighty issues that the authors across time have offered us. We hope you will read along with us and contribute to the great conversation we hope to start there. Our first book, Lamplighter's Ishmael, is perfect for men,women, and teens alike. All are welcome to join—even if you don’t have a blog at all! Come and check us out at: www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/HSBLiteraryClub.

P.S. Hi Again, it's JenIG here!

Even if you do not join our very snazzy-fun book club, I highly recommend that you pick up a copy of Ishmael. It is literally my new favorite literary work. It is so 'alive' that I actually caught myself praying for one of the characters. Seriously. And yes, I do know that's weird and I did stop doing that. Anyhow, me and Kate would love to have you pop in and include your thoughts on this great book as we begin reading thru it in March.