Disappointed in Myself Again: TOS Devotional e-Newsletter, March 2006

(a random page from my journal over the years)

What I Have Learned from My Teacher
I want to portray a true and living relationship with the Lord in my conversations. In other words, I want my words to come from my heart’s active relationship with Him, not just my own thinking pouring out of my mouth. When I use the name of Jesus, I want it truly to be expressing my relationship with Him and not merely namedropping. When I quote Scripture to the kids, I want it to be heartfelt and life changing not just a volley of nice words. When I say, “Praise God!” I want it to be true praise to God and not just words spoken on autopilot. May what I speak to my children be from Him and to Him and through Him, so that in all my words, I am glorifying Him. That is my prayer. It is definitely not my reality every day, but it is the prayer of my heart.

What I Have Learned from My Children
My eldest son woke up one morning and told me about the neat dream he had. He dreamt that Jesus came and took him up to heaven. I asked him, “Why did you get to go to heaven? Did you die?” He said, “No, I got to go because I finished 1,000 language workbooks!” I had to laugh, knowing how hard language is for him. He then proceeded with his dream, saying that he was helping Jesus fight a big battle. Every time he encountered an enemy, he would shout, “The LORD is on my side!” and then he would conquer that enemy. The more he told me, the more awesome the dream was.

I knew this was no ordinary dream, so I told him that the Bible says that in the last days “old men would dream dreams and young men would see visions.” I said that we had been praying for him since he was a baby that he would be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. And that the Lord was teaching him even in his dreams where true strength comes from.

It was just a confirmation to me that the Lord is working in my son, and that He who began a good work in him will bring it to completion. We must have faith in God’s plans and purposes for our children and allow Him to work them out in their lives in the manner He deems best, even if it’s not immediately visible but only in their dreams.

My Prayer
“Lord, let my conversation be true and upright. Let me speak of You to my children at every turn and in every situation. Let me speak Truth. For You are Truth, and it is of You I want them to learn in this school of life. Give them dreams and visions of what You have for them to conquer and give us the ability to see them turned into reality.”

Homeschooling Thoughts
The children did their math outside today while listening to the book-on-tape of The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew. I prefer to read aloud, but occasionally a book on tape is really fun and frees up a little time for the teacher who needs to mother other little ones.

Deborah Wuehler is the Devotional and e-Newsletter editor for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. She lives in Roseville, California, with her husband, Richard, and their seven gifts from heaven. E-mail Deborah at Devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com.

By Marybeth Whalen, Speaker Team Member, www.Proverbs31.org

I Samuel 16:23, “Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.” (NIV)

As a wife and mother, you set the tone in your home. We’ve all heard the old saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” While the remark may cause us to chuckle, we can’t deny the truth of it. Whether we’re ranting and raving or smiling and hugging, our families take their cue from us. What a sobering responsibility!

In I Samuel 16:14-23, the young David is summoned to the king’s palace to play the harp for him. Saul is no longer in close fellowship with God and is tormented by an evil spirit as a result. His delusional sate is only alleviated by the gentle sounds of David’s harp. Interestingly, this is an early example of what we know as “music therapy.” By interacting with music and musical instruments, children with autism, OCD, and other behavioral and neurological disorders have been found to make great improvement. (For more information on music therapy, go to www.musictherapy.org.)

While we might not be experts in music therapy, we can certainly do for our loved ones as David did for Saul. How can we set a gentle tone for our home? How can we create a peaceful, soothing environment for our husband and children? When the stress and pressures of daily living affect the atmosphere of our home, are we the ones, like David, gently strumming that harp? I know that too often, I am like King Saul instead, hurling my harsh words as he hurled his spear (I Samuel 19:9-10).

Through reading the Scriptures, I find three lessons that David’s time as a harp strummer can teach me as a woman:

David was able to go before Saul to play for him because he loved and served the one true King. He knew that God had called him to the position of servant to Saul—whether Saul deserved this was not for him to judge. I can remember this in my own life when I feel that nudge from God to look past what I may feel is an injustice and simply serve the Lord only and be obedient to Him. It is not about whom I serve, but why I am serving.

David used what he had been given. God took David’s talents and used them to bless the lives of others. His reputation preceded him, for when a harp player was sought, one of Saul’s servants said: “I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the harp. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the Lord is with him” (I Samuel 16:18). I can freely give of my time and talents to bless those around me instead of hiding them or squandering them. Do I use my talents for the “least of these” or am I saving them only for those I deem worthy of my efforts? God will bless what I freely extend in His name, no matter where I am or whom it is for.

David knew the importance of staying close to God. Though he regularly visited the king’s palace, he did not allow that splendor to distract him from his close walk with God. In his heart, he remained a simple shepherd boy and held fast to God’s hand. Saul’s declining mental state was a testimony to what can happen when we put too much emphasis on our own abilities and stop resting in Him. David learned a valuable lesson from Saul as he sat and played his harp—a lesson I want to always remember.

As I endeavor to set a peaceful tone in my home, I can pick up my harp and strum a melody fit for the King of Kings. My harmony might be achieved by keeping an orderly home, cooking a meal, or reading aloud to my children. Your harmony might sound a bit different but is no less effective for creating a peaceful atmosphere. Maybe you can sing a beautiful song as you go throughout your day. Maybe your home is decorated in such an appealing way that all who come there want to rest and relax. No matter what giftings God has given us, let us use whatever we can to create a place where our families will be blessed and troubles will be eased. In this way, we can all be harp strummers for Him.

My Prayer
Lord, thank you for this reminder of how I can set the tone in my home. There are so many days that I do not do a good job at this, and yet I long to create a place of rest and refuge for my family and friends. Help me to create a home atmosphere that blesses my family, and help me to remember the lessons learned from young David as he played his harp for Saul. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of Your Word. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Reflection
Am I a harp strummer or a spear hurler?
How can I play the role of harp strummer for my family each day?

Marybeth Whalen would like to invite you to a Proverbs 31 She Speaks conference. To see more information on when and where these conferences are, go to www.proverbs31.org. This conference is a great way for women who feel called to write and/or speak to (1) learn more about it through workshops and keynote sessions and (2) confirm their calling. She attended several years ago and can’t say enough about how awesome and spirit-filled this weekend is. Again, if interested, visit their site at www.proverbs31.org.

Marybeth Whalen is the wife of Curt and homeschooling mom of six children. The family lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. Marybeth is the author of For The Write Reason and is a member of the Proverbs 31 Ministries Speaker Team. For more information about her, go to www.marybethwhalen.com.

Homeschooling Methods: Seasoned Advice on Learning Styles
Paul and Gena Suarez
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The editors of this book also serve as publishers of The Old Schoolhouse, a quarterly homeschooling magazine, and homeschool their four children in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. It is described as “a homeschooling convention in a book.” When I received my copy and began thumbing through it, I found it so interesting that in one evening I worked my way through the entire book, reading large portions that I found especially applicable to our situation and carefully perusing all the other sections.

For parents who are thinking about homeschooling, the whole idea can seem a bit daunting. Even after the decision to homeschool is made, there are still many questions to be considered, one of the most important of which is how to find out what method will work best for your own family. This book explores the ten most popular home education methods to help parents in determining which one will meet the needs of their situation.

If you would like to give your children a classical education, there is advice from Douglas Wilson and Christine Miller. If the Principle Approach appeals to you, you can read suggestions by Katherine Dang and James Rose. Jenefer Igarashi and Heather Allen explain the traditional textbook approach with information about homeschool co-ops by Jennifer Pepito. Catherine Levinson discusses the Charlotte Mason method, while Jessica Hulcy and Jennifer Steward talk about unit studies.

Those who have special needs students will want to find out what Christine Field and Sherry Bushnell have to say. If you travel a lot, Dianne Flynn Keith takes homeschooling on the road with Carschooling. Maggie and Tyler Hogan and Diana Waring help readers understand the Eclectic Method. You can learn about delight-directed studies with Raymond and Dorothy Moore and Mary Hood. And Ruth Beechick and Clay and Sally Clarkson conclude with a section on whole-hearted learning.

Learning styles among children are widely varied. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Each mind has its own method.” Homeschoolers have found that one size does not fit all when it comes to education. The well-researched facts and experiences presented by the various contributors in this book will help parents to determine their own educational philosophy and then decide which teaching method or methods will serve their family. I highly recommend this book.

—Product review by Wayne S. Walker, Homeschool Nation Coordinator for Missouri

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A new devotion sent in by you, our readers, will be highlighted here each month.

Why I Don’t Want to Be Mrs. Brown
By Marla Nowak

The familiar chorus repeats itself. Endeavor to be a better parent. The dissonant sound of distracted parenting clashes with noble ambition.

I did it again today. I lashed out in frustration at my children. It was easy to pretend it was them. They did childish things that annoyed me. My impatience and selfishness was a result of today’s doggone poor time management. I got behind and needed to catch up, and my treasured, elevated list is priority at times. I like to believe the reason I get behind is because my children are in front and I’m running after them. Sometimes my sinful heart convinces me that my children’s antics cost me minutes, hours, even my day. I say ridiculous things, such as, “You steal my time when you do that. You make work for me that is unnecessary.” Those foolish statements only echo back the truth. Give them your time. They are your work.

My days go well until life’s dreaded inconveniences occur, things that need dealt with: someone made oatmeal cookies—on the couch, puppy ate a muddy boot, a donut is stuck in the VCR, or some other interruption. I know the optimist says there is no such thing as interruption, just God’s sovereign opportunity. I’m not sure how their glass stays full when mine is half empty. Perhaps their children don’t drink out of it. I can well handle the spilt milks of life on most days, but not yesterday. Yesterday it was the suitcase interruption that got to me. My son loves to pretend to leave. (I can’t imagine why!) He often packs his huge royal blue duffle bag. We unpack the bag. He unpacks the bag. It’s not a huge deal, except that it has happened so frequently it’s annoying. Picture this. The house was clean, a lovely dinner ready, the children happy, the puppy sleeping, and my pleasant mood awaited hubby, who was due home soon. Then it happened. Sabotage. I come upstairs only to find uninvited guests—Mr. and Mrs. Major Mess. Son has packed the contents of his drawers in his duffle, along with various blankets, animals, and toothpaste. Little sister tried to get her favorite bath towel out of the linen closet. My once neatly folded towels were left in a colorful heap, not to mention daughter flattened the six-pack of toilet paper she used as a footstool. A roll of navy yarn had been haphazardly snipped, a GI haircut for a skein of yarn. Clippings littered the floor. As well, a strange menagerie of toys and other items was scattered about, and for some reason a plastic purple violet in a glass vase sat in water on the boys’ dresser. One child “forgot” to make his bed today. The bookshelf I reorganized over the weekend is in disarray, and I wonder how and when this happened ... while I was outside working—pitching puppy poop in the brush pile over the fence. I guess I lingered to play fetch. And I was skimming that magazine. And I had a note to write. And on and on.

My pleasant mood dissolved into scorn. The switch flipped on, and the recording came out. The lecture. The one that says, “You know better than this. Why did you? Clean this up. Do you have to just make messes for the sheer pleasure of making messes?” The really crazy thing is that in 26 years of parenting I’ve never had one child say, “That was a great lecture. I’m changing my reckless ways. I’m giving up my wayward life of play and mess and mud and imagination and trading it for a smile, a vacuum cleaner, and a willingness to always obey my blessed mom.” Lecturing has to be one of the dumbest things I do. My lectures are pretty much pity parties and guilt trips poorly disguised as instructions. ”And another thing, if you ever pack this suitcase again for fun, there will be dire consequences.” The threat rises within me. “Pay close attention, because your number one pleasure is getting ready to encounter its demise! You may not have ice cream for a long time. A loooooong, loooooooong, looooooong time.”

Just about the time I realized I was acting dumb, Daddy came home. And part two of the lecture series emerged. “Your son ... Whawhawhawhawhaw,” (Pretend you are hearing Charlie Brown’s moms voice—because my oldest told me that is who I sound exactly like during lectures.) “And hubby, I told son if he does that again—well, son, you tell Dad.” Son says, “Dad, no ice cream.” That’s right, I nod with authority. “And tell Dad how long it will be before you get ice cream again.” “Dad, no ice cream for 20 minutes.”

My lecture again fell on deaf ears. No one brought a recorder. No one studied. No one even took notes. I can’t blame them. When I come alongside them to instruct and, yes, even help clean up, and am gentle and kind, their hearing improves dramatically. Truth is, I’m the one who had not been paying attention, acting like a clod. I forgot about the One who comes beside me. It’s your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance. Help me to be kind instead of a lecturer. Help me identify culprits of mine that cause strife in the life of my family. I cannot manufacture a spirit of peace. Overflow in me as I seek you. Remind me that I have a responsibility to yield to you at all times. Help me to teach and guide and not embark on those pathetic lectures.

This good day, middle daughter put the water pitcher away without refilling it, but I reminded her—not lectured, mind you. “The problem, Mom,” she reasoned, “Is I see the pitcher as half full, and you see it as half empty.” And I said, “No, the problem is we all get thirsty.” So let us all drink from the well that never runs dry.

Things I’m thankful for, Lord: Thank You, Lord, that while I gave the lecture yesterday, daughter cleaned all the Play Mobil off the parlor floor. Days worth of Play Mobil play. Thank You today that the 5-year-old child was drawn to read his Bible much of the day. I heard him mumble aloud, “Oh, Noah was an inventor. He invented the first houseboat.” Thank You for all the times my children make me smile. Thank You for a sweet hubby—he talked to the girls and told them be ready Tuesday. He’s coming home for lunch and taking all three out on Valentine’s Day—even put together gift bags on his own. Thank You, Lord, for speaking to me. This morning I was taking a cruise on the good ship Guilt Trip, lamenting that the boys don’t play baseball or ride their bikes enough or participate in gymnastics, year-round swimming, karate, skiing, or mountain climbing like other kids, or whatever I was obsessing over. Anyway, in my quiet time You led me to 1 Timothy 4:8—”For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.” Exercise is great. We can work on it. But we are doing okay focusing on running a race. Thank You that youngest daughter’s infected finger is healing. Thank You for Your Word that speaks, convicts, and encourages but never lectures. And Lord, next time I feel a lecture coming on, lead me to 1 Corinthians 2:4 so that my speech and my preaching will not be with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power. My words are not enticing, much less wise; let me demonstrate the power of Your Spirit. Thank You that in the midst of my puny little inconveniences, You have chosen to be there with me.

Editor’s Note: Would you like to see your devotion highlighted here? Send your devotional submissions for review to devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com

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Testimonials
Dear Deborah,
Your words are beautiful because they reflect Christ and not just the popular sentiments. Thank you for the warmth and encouragement you offer, even with the busy life you MUST live, with 7 children. I have 5 and that is very busy already, along with my role as support for my Pastor husband. May God continually bless you and teach you from His word. In heaven we shall know each other perfectly; until then, rejoicing that the bond of Christ is stronger than any other. May God bless you, Christine in Ontario, Canada.

Debbie,
The family journal portion (of the e-Newsletter) blessed me so. I just appreciated your honesty when speaking of your frustration that you sometimes feel as a mother. There are so many Christian women, including myself at times, who have trouble being transparent with their fellow sisters in Christ. I just long to gain wisdom from women who have been where I am ... I have a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old and I am just loving them ... I love being a mom. There are many things I am encountering involving disciplining my 3-year-old and I guess I am just tired of women who talk to me about their “perfect lives and perfect children.” I want to hear that someone understands what I go through some days, from someone who has gained wisdom because they’ve been there. I think sometimes as women we tend to be competitive by nature and instead of being real we cover up and pretend that all is well. I am doing my best to raise children in a way that glorifies the Lord but that doesn’t always mean my children are “angelic.” They are still learning ... just as I am still learning as well. It was refreshing to read your article because I could see that you are a godly woman who is dependent on the Lord for your daily needs, which also includes caring for your children and “training them up in the way they should go.” And it was your transparency that was such a breath of fresh air to me. Thank you so very much. Your sister in Christ, Heather Saul

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Thank you for spending time with us here at The Old Schoolhouse e-Newsletter! We pack into every issue as much practical homeschooling help and godly encouragement as we possibly can and send it out once a month via email. As your e-Newsletter Editor, I have listened to your recommendations, and I think we have come up with a pretty good end product here! If there is anything you’d like to see added or changed, or if you have a question about homeschooling—just email us and let us know what we can do for you! Here’s the address: devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com. Don’t forget to check out our website and magazine. Until next month, happy homeschooling from Deborah Wuehler and all the TOS Staff!

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