One day last school year a friend and fellow homeschooler called and said, “I just realized you are always home when I call.” This is a rarity among the homeschoolers I know. While we accept that not every home looks the same as ours, there are times when conflicts arise. Most notably, conflicts arise when we are trying to plan for events through our support groups. Having to juggle everyone’s harried schedules; we realize that others have different timetables than we do. Each home school mom had a different reason as to why they home school on the run and why it works best for them. Then I began wondering, why staying home works best for my family. Just a few days ago, God revealed these reasons to me.

While I continue to make mistakes, I believe my biggest mistakes were made the summer before I started officially homeschooling. Wanting to provide my two young boys with the many opportunities I did not receive growing up, I involved them in a multitude of activities trying to tap into their strengths and gifts. What I ended up doing was planning out this nice hectic schedule that exhausted these two little boys, barely of age 3 and 5, right out of sync.

My boys are a little different. I’m currently writing a book on the awareness of Autistic Spectrum Disorders from a mom’s perspective. The book is being written as my life plays out before my eyes. This book may never get to print; but, if nothing else I know it is good self therapy. For whatever reason, God wanted me to write the story, my story.

Through my writings, I have learned when we do too much it throws them off balance. It may take days to get back to a coherent, tolerable, functioning state. With very high energy levels, when they are out of sync our whole household is in chaos. When I am constantly on the go, the home does not function with the same regular flow. Our understanding of peace is bouncing off the walls like silly putty looking for a quiet place to land. I have come to realize that I can provide opportunities for my sons without having to do it all in the same week, month, or even semester. We make choices; swimming lessons this year, maybe karate next year. We prioritize and pick those events that are most desirable and in line with our goals. When possible, I try not to schedule two group type outings in the same day. In getting my boys focused and prioritized, God used my family and friends to get me focused on His service and prioritized for the new path He has for me.

Don’t let me give you the wrong impression; our house is anything but quiet! We are very busy within the home; but there is a quiet peace resting in the center of our focused lives. For now, we are diminishing the chaos by finishing previous obligations, accomplishing those immediate responsibilities, working daily on God inspired projects, and recognizing those God given “living in the moment” opportunities with those little ones we love so much.

Another friend and I sat down and prioritized our projects and responsibilities. It isn’t that we really discovered something new; but, seeing it on paper provided a visual to getting it all into perspective. Self has to be the first priority in order to be able to give to others. Our spouse should come second as the marriage is the core of the family. Children are listed third; without them we wouldn’t be home schooling! Then I realized I had projects pending completion that others were reliant on me to finish. By focusing on these projects I was able to diminish the chaos in not being so scattered. There is something about an accomplishment, a completed task that supplies energy to the ability to focus on those immediate responsibilities.

Immediate responsibilities for me lie in the area of managing the household. I try to attack these duties at the first available moment in the morning (after the first three priorities have been tended to); like, paying bills, placing business related phone calls to plumber, roofer, insurance company, home school association planning, etc. Other immediate responsibilities might include running those unexpected errands, filling out any necessary paperwork and whatever assignments that might be due that week, and of course preparing meals for the family, and washing articles of clothing that will be needed for the next day. With these out of the way I am then free to concentrate my efforts on projects as directed by God.

Sometimes God impresses upon me to complete a domestic type project for my family. It might be painting a room, making curtains, or just dealing with the clutter. I have to remember to listen, as the areas of service change according to His plan. Sometimes He asks for my strengths and I’m inspired to paint on a canvas. Other times He requests my weaknesses and I feel overwhelmingly compelled to write. Without following the listed priorities I’m not available to respond to the calling, which can produce a chaotic mom.

Following a prioritized plan seems to quiet the mind, body, and soul. We are then capable of recognizing those “living in the moment” opportunities. Living in the moment for me means a disregard for schedules, it involves no preconceived ideas or expectations, and it may even look silly or impractical. When the children interrupt my work I see a flash back to that piece of paper with my listed priorities and the little voice inside says, “Oh, that is priority number three. I better stop and pay attention, lest I miss a loving moment sent by God.” Living in the moment provides satisfaction for ourselves and fulfills our loved ones with feelings of value and validation. When we achieve satisfaction and have stopped to validate a loved one we begin to diminish the chaos.

Thank you, Barbara! How about you? How do you find the quiet you need? Do you have any practical ways to develop a peaceful environment in a busy home? Email me at devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com and let me know. You may see your answers here next month!

I recently heard that the average amount of conversation between a parent and a child is 15 minutes per day. Now, I hope this is not true of most homeschool families! But I do know that when our family gets together with other families, the children usually run off to play while the grownups hang out and chat. We often leave friends houses feeling like we never connected with the children - theirs and ours. Well, how about a little family game time instead of everyone going his or her own way? And what better game than one that can be played by all ages together? And one that gets everyone talking about his or her thoughts, fears, dreams, and embarrassing moments! I received the Christian version of The Ungame for review, and I love it! It comes with a game board, three decks of cards, six tokens, and a die. Players begin by setting a time limit (45 minutes to one hour is suggested). Players must agree not to talk when it is not their turn (this is tougher than it sounds!). Questions and comments can be directed at a player only if you land on a comment space, so you should take notes as you listen to other players’ answers. Deck One has lighthearted questions, such as "Talk about your favorite holiday and why you like it." Deck Two has deeper questions, such as "How do you respond when someone criticizes you? How do you feel?" And Deck Three has questions specifically for Christians, such as "How does your faith in God show in your actions?" There is no winner to this game, just a time of getting to know one another in a fun way.

The creator of The Ungame, Rhea Zakich, has quite a story to tell about how this game came to be. She also explains the philosophy of the game and the different versions (Christian, teens, children, and couples). Check out www.talicor.com and see their whole selection of family games that are sure to make your family time more fun, educational, and meaningful.

-- Product Review by: Heather Jackowitz, Staff Writer, TOS Magazine

Have you ever purchased some kind of curriculum because it claimed to have all the answers for your particular child in your particular situation with your particular learning philosophy – only to find out that it really didn’t meet up to its boast? Or, that it’s just too complicated to figure out, let alone put into practice every day? Or maybe it promised to provide everything you would need to teach everyone in your house from your baby up through your grandmother, and you find you still do need more. But it looked and sounded so perfect! Frustrating isn’t it.

We can be so easily deceived. It reminds me of when my daughter was four years old and came running in from the backyard with hands raised and shouting, “They tricked me …they tricked me!!!!” After getting her to settle down, I asked what happened. “Well, I was out feeding the chickens and I saw a prune on the ground in the chicken coop. You know how I love prunes! Well, I picked it up and it wasn’t a prune! It just looked like a prune! The chickens tricked me!”

Just this morning, I received an email from a friend that claimed if I would just forward this message to umpteen people, I would receive thousands of dollars! It looked somewhat believable because someone tacked a scripture to the end of it. Even though this spam has been around for quite some time, people like my godly, well meaning friend are still being duped. I pointed her in the right direction regarding researching spam email, and her response was, “It doesn’t hurt to try!” I think I would disagree. It hurts because it’s a waste of time, and it clutters up our mailboxes with junk.

Time is precious. We cannot afford to waste time in this ever so busy endeavor of homeschooling our children. Just as we cannot afford to waste money and space on curriculum that doesn’t work. But time and again we choose to believe the “perfect for your child” deception just in case it’s really true this time. Instead of feeling like you’re groping around in the dark or, even worse, grabbing whatever sounds good at the time, let me give you some wise counsel I have gained when it comes to looking for just the right thing for your child:

Prayer

I cannot over emphasize the need for prayer in all areas of our life. Especially in relation to raising up our children. One of my children was so energetic, he was like a bottle of soda that had been shaken up and ready to explode! I earnestly prayed for a creative way to help him safely release that energy on a daily basis. The Lord answered by placing homeschooled competitive jump-ropers to take him under their wing and teach him incredible things I never thought possible with a jump rope! Something he could practice everyday without me having to run hither and yon. One of my older sons disliked reading unless the book had lots of pictures. I knew he was missing out on so many great classics. I prayed specifically. The Lord answered specifically and led me to a series of books from our homeschool library that hooked him into a love of reading so deep, it is painful for him to pull away to do anything else! There have been times when I have prayed specifically for the Lord to open the doors of opportunity to allow my children to become more proficient in or use the special giftings the Lord has given them musically, artistically, or verbally. He has been faithful to provide as I have been faithful to pray. Pray before you go to that used book sale or that convention or that website. Pray specifically and earnestly and remain open to His direction as you search, and you will find peace as your mind is guarded from that “fool-proof” deception.

Philippians 4:6,7   Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Support

Our homeschool support group meets once a month where we go over curriculum choices on a regular basis. This is so helpful to find out what has worked or hasn’t work for each one. I have made most of my purchases based on these recommendations. After all, our friends are perfect teachers and their children are all well-adjusted geniuses, right? Another wonderful resource is our homeschool library. We have pooled and supplied resources in order to have a central library for all of our families to use. This way, we can check out that curriculum we were questioning and see if it really will work. If you don’t have one in your area, think about starting one. Everyone benefits, especially the children. They can read that series of books that we couldn’t afford to purchase for our own home library or those that the public libraries don’t carry.

Basic Training

Another thing to consider is what our children already know, or conversely, what they don’t know. If they are not proficient in the basics of reading, writing and math, continue with the basics. Look for things that repeat and reinforce. Find out what is essential and learn those things well. All the extra stuff is just that – extra. They may excel in Greek History, but if they don’t know their times tables, something basic is missing. They may be able to do the best science experiments, but if they cannot write a decent letter, it’s time to go back to the basics. In training them for the future, the basics are essential.

If you look at military basic training, you see that they cram into a few weeks everything they deem essential in becoming a good soldier. It’s pretty basic. They require and reinforce unquestioned obedience and they prepare them mentally and physically for possible future combat. Specialized fields come later. Ever thought of that in relation to your goals for homeschooling? I have. I want my children to unquestioningly obey God’s commands and my commands, and I want to help prepare them in the basics for whatever the future holds. And then, in prayer, he will show us how to develop our children in their specialized fields.

Testing

A good teacher knows where her children are academically. And if we are not sure, there are various avenues of testing. We don’t need that special curriculum that guarantees success if they are already proficient in that area. And, we don’t always need expensive tests. Most textbooks have them built right in. The goal of testing is to ascertain knowledge. Therefore, the most important test, in my opinion, is the testing of the heart. Just as we test the basics in our children, the Lord tests the hearts. He knows we are easily deceived by our own thoughts and good ideas. Our ways seem right to us, but the end of them somehow lead to nothing. Do our children know the basics of Christianity 101? Do they know that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy is understanding? Do we? If so, we, along with our children will only then be rewarded by the fruit of our labors. Let’s look at verses 5-11 of the 17 th chapter of Jeremiah in this light.

“ Thus says the Lord: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, And shall not see when good comes...”

When we trust in our own wisdom or the wisdom of man in relation to our children, and if we think our strength can accomplish the task, we are deceived and our hearts have departed from the Lord. We will not be able to see when “good comes.”

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

Success in our homeschooling efforts will come by trusting in the Lord. If we teach our children that their hope is the Lord, they will be grounded in truth, prepared for the future, and unafraid. During times of seeming drought or when the “heat comes” they will not be anxious. This is the goal for the future I desire for my children

"The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings. "As a partridge that broods but does not hatch, So is he who gets riches, but not by right; It will leave him in the midst of his days, And at his end he will be a fool."

We are easily deceived. And it starts in our hearts. May we not just sit and brood over our children, but pray that the Lord will produce good fruit in them. I, for one, do not want to be played the fool. I want to really know the Truth and I want my children to learn the basics from me. May they pass the test.

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• Family Christian Stores - one $10 gift card! (no purchase necessary!)
• Alpha Omega/Power-Glide - Interactive foreign language CD-ROM. ($25 value)
• Accelerated Christian Education (ACE)/School of Tomorrow - Interactive CD-ROM Bible Study Course ($35 value)
• Bob's Red Mill - ($7.50 value)
  
  -5 Grain Cereal ( Yes, Food!)
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• Barker Creek's Draw Write Now - One thick penmanship/art/unit study book. Publisher's choice. ($13.00 value)
• Hold That Thought - Sampler of timelines creation, notebooking ($14.95 value)
• Rod & Staff by Milestone Ministries - One beautiful a capella cd of 18 hymns, plus choice of age-appropriate Rod and Staff sample workbook ($12 value)

Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers is a curriculum for teaching teenagers to live as morally and financially responsible adults. For a free project from the book, go to http://www.cardamompublishers.com/free-life-prep-project-01.htm

While you’re there, be sure to check out Cardamom Publishers’ “The Imperfect Homeschooler” Web site for articles that will encourage you on your homeschooling journey.

Support Group Leaders ONLY: We would like to invite you to join our Yahoo! Group to discuss issues related to leadership and share fresh and new ideas to keep your group moving forward.  Send a blank email to: TOSHSN_Leadership_Group-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to subscribe. We value your privacy. Never will we give out, sell or share your email in any way.

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