A few years ago, after moving into a new home in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, a beautiful fall day called to us to be adventurous. With great energy and anticipation, my children (then 15, 13, 10, and 4) and I headed up a mountain path we had been told would be a beautiful two-hour morning hike. It seemed like a perfect outing.

Even after we unknowingly took a wrong trail, there were many wonderful moments along the rarely used path. But the morning hike turned into a seven-hour test of endurance and faith. We kept thinking that if we just kept going we would find the trail our friend had described. When we finally found a road home, it was nightfall at over 10,000 feet, and we were still over an hour’s walk away. By God’s grace, and after much prayer and trusting, we were “rescued” by a young man in a black leather jacket riding his mountain bike up the abandoned road.

In many ways, except perhaps for the nice biker, our “walk” that day is a picture of my journey of motherhood. I started out as a young mother with such high aspirations and expectations. I listened to what my friends and others had to say, and I walked confidently up the mountain of motherhood. But the path I followed had many turns and challenges that I wasn’t expecting. With so many opinions about parenting and homeschooling, I would often find myself going off in new directions, only to find that what worked for other parents was just not right for my children. As I learned to understand our unique family culture and my children’s distinct personalities and learning styles, I also learned that I needed to take my directions from a steadier source.

Looking back now on 23 years of committed involvement in the homeschooling movement, I see those who have “ended” well with godly children prepared and launched into life successfully, and I see one thing they usually have in common— they walked with the Lord and sought Him for wisdom and direction along the way. They were dependent on God and His Word, not on the latest book, speaker, or resource. That was the lesson I had to learn—that my “success” as a homeschooling mother is directly related to my “success” as a mother walking with God. If I could give a new mother the “secret to success” for homeschooling, I would start with five first steps that would get her started in the right direction.

Make a covenant with God. “Lord, these are your children, and you’ve designed me to be a life-giver to them. This is your home, and you’ve designed it to be a place of living and learning to prepare my children fully for life. So, I give you my children, my home, and my homeschool, knowing that you will be faithful to walk with me on this journey of motherhood. Teach me how to be a mother after your heart, and help me to raise up children with hearts for you and your kingdom.” Once I made that agreement with God, it gave me confidence to know that He would be in charge, not me. It removed the pressure of feeling I had to make the one right decision every time. He would be faithful to teach, guide, direct, and strengthen me every step of the journey, if I would trust Him.

Understand your purpose. As I read Scriptures like Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Ephesians 6:4, and others, I realized that God’s ultimate goal for me as a mom is to reach the hearts of my children with His truth, train them in godly character, and instill in them biblical knowledge and worldview. I would be God’s agent to shape my children into mature disciples of His Son, Jesus. All of the homeschooling academics, activities, and friends were not ends in themselves, but means to a greater end—giving my children a heart for God and His ways. That helped me to say no to lot of things that were good, but not the best for our family and our priorities.

Depend on God’s Word. More than any other book in my overstuffed library, I have read and studied the Bible for guidance as a Christian and a homeschooling mother. My commitment to look to the Word first has saved me, I believe, from wasting time on trails that would not get me where I had purposed to go. It grieves me to see families swing from one homeschool method or parenting philosophy to another, chasing whatever book or speaker might be most popular or promise the easiest success. Whether chasing the “right way” for academics, character training, childhood discipline, or anything else, the best answer will be the one spoken from God’s heart in His Word to your own. Paul told the Ephesians that God gave us the Spirit of Christ so we could live in freedom and not be bound by others’ rules for how we should live. That goes for parenting and homeschooling, too.

In the same way Jesus exhibited love to His disciples, I want to show Christ’s love to my children.

Live by faith. Many times, when I was low in spirit, I have wondered if I was failing my children. As a homeschooling mom, I have had children who were late to read, poor spellers, slower at math, longer to mature, with bad attitudes, and much more. Yet in every case, God would remind me that my adequacy was not from my “success” as a mother, but rather it was from Him. If all I could do was offer my “loaves and fishes” to Him in faith, He would take my offering and make it enough. I could let go of things I couldn’t control and trust Him to work in my children’s lives. I still worked diligently, daily seeking by faith to apply godly wisdom and biblical principles, but God was directing and building my children beyond what I could have done on my own. There are still unresolved issues in my children’s lives and futures, but I know the only real solution is to live by faith and obedience and keep entrusting them to God—“for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day” (2 Timothy 1:12).

Walk in love. In the same way Jesus exhibited love to His disciples, I want to show Christ’s love to my children. There is no question in my mind that my greatest influence on their lives has been from continuously cultivating a deep, loving relationship with them. It has kept them, even through the hormonal teen years, open to my instruction and advice, wanting to please me, and willing to engage their hearts in the “Clarkson family ways.” As one of my children said, “Mom, you were always so passionate in your love for God and for us that we couldn’t go astray, because we didn’t want to break your heart!” I resonate with Peter that “love covers a multitude of sins”!

The journey of motherhood, or what I like to call the “Mom Walk,” is not as quick and easy as our modern culture suggests. There is a path to follow, but it is a long walk. There are wonderful adventures along the way, but it’s not always easy. Just be sure you know your Guide and His guidebook. Take the first five steps, and you should be fine for the rest of the journey, even without a friendly biker to help.

Sally Clarkson is the mother of four wholehearted homeschooled children (ages 11, 17, 20, and 22), a popular conference and convention speaker, and the author of numerous books and articles on Christian motherhood and parenting, including The Mission of Motherhood, The Ministry of Motherhood, and Seasons of a Mother’s Heart. She is coauthor of Educating the WholeHearted Child. Her newest book, The Mom Walk (Harvest House, January 2007), is a personal reflection on what it means to walk with God as a mother. To learn more, visit the Whole Heart Online website at www.wholeheart.org.